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I’ve got to say that this month has been a little tough for me. I wish that bad things only happened in threes by for some reason the cards are against me this month.

– I lost my job…gotta love it when a company is having “financial issuses”

– My boyfriend is leaving for three months- no communication during those three months- can we say not fun?

– I’m getting super sick

So that’s three things but I didn’t include the more inane things that are going wrong mainly because I don’t want to whine throughout this entire post. I can handle one thing at a time but not at all once.

Can we say depressing?

Um, day two sucked but it wasn’t so bad. I still feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, I spent the whole morning looking up medical words.

On the way to work, I felt so sick. All I want to do is go back to bed and sleep all day long. Is it vaca time again?

I sat in on a meeting and the whole thing overwhelmed me.

I still have no idea if I can do this, or do it well.

I need a hug.

What a day. I have no idea what I’m doing at all. At all. Seriously, I couldn’t punch holes in paper correctly, I swear I have a mental problem. For most of the day, I had a horrible headache…mainly from reading so much and looking every word up. Thank you medical jargon. The people are nice though, which is a plus. They took me out to lunch and bought me a desk plant…very sweet.

But unless I learn how to do my job well, that will all fade. Apparently, you will succeed in six months or ultimately realize that this is not the right job. That’s not stressful at all. ha, right.

I missed working at my old company, not the work (obviously) but the people. I could go to anyone’s desk and just talk. Or go and hang out with my favorite guys (story about that later.)

It’s going to take a long time to deal with all of this. I just hope I can do it because right now, I am seriously doubting myself. Especially after fucking up punching holes in paper. Seriously?! How hard is it to create a binder? Apparently, it is really hard for me.

This will get better right? God I hope so. I hate this feeling.

I was so nervous last night that I couldn’t fall asleep at all. I stayed up the whole night thinking about my old coworkers and how I left them. Yes, it was for the best ( right?) but it made me sad. They through me a great going away party and I will post about that tomorrow, one moment has been on my mind all weekend.

Sidenote: my face is so dry and it’s cracking. Damn winter. Any good ideas to fix that? I had to go to the bathroom every hour just to reapply face cream since it looked so flaky and gross. Ugh.

Whenever I have a day off, I like to sit on my couch watching tv in sweatpants and no makeup. Today, I had to venture out in the real world to buy some dog food….wow was it an adventure.

I went out the first time with my doggy on foot because the dog store is near my house, or so I thought. The boy said it was only a few blocks away but I had gone at least 10 blocks and I still could not find it. Mind you, I have a dog with me too who is curious about everything, so she stops every five seconds. I called him and we decided that I must have missed it since it is a small store. I went back towards my house where I did find it…..I found it to be closed. Nice, right? You would think the store would be open at 10am. Anyway, it gets better. On my way back, this guy walks by me and barks. HE BARKED AT ME. Um, what? Did that moron seriously bark at me? Ugh.

I went back home without any dog food slightly pissed off.

A few hours later, I realized that I would have to go out again cause my dog needs food for dinner. I went back and thankfully, they were open. Dog food in hand, I went back home. Um, you would think I would have a safe journey but no. This car followed me for two blocks, driving 5 mph with the driver whistling at me. Normally, a guy with his head of the window wouldn’t bother me but there were two men and they were following me. Creepy. I decided to go down a path where cars are not allowed and basically sprinted back home with my dog and her food. I swear all of the crazy people come out to play in the afternoon. My neighborhood is safe and beautiful, where did these people come from.

I’m going to sit on my couch with my dog and never ever leave again.

Ok, maybe when the doorbell rings and the kids trick or treat but that’s a clear maybe.

Happy Halloween.

Even after I quit my job, I’m still swamped at work but this time, it’s a different feeling. I know I have to finish this work before I leave and train the new temp but now I don’t feel like I’m going to rip my hair out. I didn’t stop caring, I just stopped freaking out about this job…cause in a few days, it won’t be mine anymore…wohoo..

 Every time I receive a horrible email, I no longer freak out. I just say bye jerk and email him a very nice response like “go bite yourself” because this stuff isn’t mine anymore. You have no idea how great it feels.

On another note, I bought some Halloween candy to prepare for the kiddies.

HORRIBLE MISTAKE. 

We are devouring it as if it is water….mmmmm baby ruth. Someone stop me now. Please.

Anyway, when I was walking my dog last night, there was this weirdo guy just walking around. Now, I’m normally paranoid but this guy freaked me out to a different level of paranoia. This girl walked by, he just stopped and watched her walk for five minutes. She got into her house but he just stood there. My house is near a main street and for a second, I thought he was at the intersection waiting for the light to change so he could cross but no, he didn’t move. F

ricking creepy.

I want to get some mace but knowing me I will spray someone that asks for the time.

So I’m just sitting here, trying to get the courage to tell my boss.

It’s not that I’m afraid to tell her but I’m afraid of what will happen after.

No, she won’t yell but I’m afraid of actually leaving my job….starting a new one, meeting new coworkers and learning a new field.

 Holy crap.

My fear is that I will lose my friends now, those people who were coworkers when I started but turned into friends after months of hard work and cursing at our boss behind her back. I hope it isn’t like the end of college, where we say we will hang out but never really have the time. I’ve never been one to welcome change with open arms; I get super anxious over the most mundane situations. I can feel my stomach hurting right now just thinking about meeting new people and/or making mistakes.  

Holy cow indeed… but change is good and necessary.

First off, I want to say congrats Molly. If you don’t know who she is, then you clearly suck. I’m kidding, she is on my blogroll..go read! The ring looks beautiful!

Speaking of good news…I got a job interview yesterday.

I’m completely freaked out; all of these questions are running through my head. Will I get it? Will the people be nice? Will I like the job? Holy hell!

I suck at interviews too! I get so flustered; I lose the ability to speak. It’s sad actually.

But either way, I got one.

So why is my title “naked ladies?” Oh, because that is what I get to see every single morning.

Naked……ladies.

I’m all for being comfortable in your own skin but is it absolutely necessary to take off all of your clothes in the locker room and bend over right in front of me? Can we say ew? Cause I can!

 Ew.

Now, moving on to the TV segment…Did anyone watch Chuck and the Big Bang Theory…..they are soo funny!

I’m so sad that this weekend is over. The beach was absolutely amazing and the weather was just great. The boy and I took long walks on the beach and tried to decide a few things. Aside from the beautiful scenery, we had some tough decisions. Not about us but about my job. As you know, my job sucks….a lot. I think many of you know that if you have a bad job, it really does change your personality. I love my coworkers but I hate the work and even though I’m young, I still want to try doing something that I love or at least like. But I don’t like change. I actually hate change unless I can prepare for it. Yes, I am very lame.  So my tough decision, do I stay with this great company at a position I hate waiting to hear about this other job, which I’m not even sure I will like or even if it will come through…..or do I search for a new job (interviews, suits and rejection!) Leave my great coworkers, leave the stability….frick frick frick (yes, I stole that from Scrubs…awesome show.) I’m just not sure.  Maybe I should set up some deadline for this decision?

 Edit: This is the best way to describe my company/job: They are great at throwing parties and trying to get you to forget that you hate your job.

I have a confession: I absolutely hate being alone in the house. It freaks me out so much. Maybe I watch too much CSI but I can turn something reasonable like the wind into some crazy idea that a lunatic is going to kill me at 7pm. Trust me, I know it is crazy. I’ve been told many times that I am in fact a crazy person but come on……isn’t everyone freaked out when they are alone in the house?  Yes, I am a grown up and maybe I could even take this imaginary person who will come to kill me while I am watching reruns but still…..the fear is there.  Here is the dilemma: My boyfriend will be leaving for the entire summer next year and I am freaking out already. What the hell am I going to do? I know I still have some time but still….this is not cool? Maybe I should learn karate?   

Anyone else afraid of being home alone? And yes, I do love that movie.